I'll come up with something in a minute.

A Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair, and one could tell by how he walked he'd drunk more than his share.

WORD!

Want to screw with people? Here's a great way. Have t-shirts made with the names of fake bands on them and then roll your eyes when people ask who Monks & Madness are and what kind of music they play. For added fun, grumble something about them being "only the best post-punk, neo-skiffle band in existence" and to further muddy the waters explain you first heard them when they opened for Rat Scallion last year. Never EVER explain who Rat Scallion are, just look like the person you're talking to is an idiot for not knowing them and walk away in disgust. And remember kids, the more remote the starting location for your bands are, the more points you'll score. After about a week of this people will be petrified to talk about music with you at all, and will believe that you're only listening to Katy Perry because you want something to clear your pallet between the "real" music you're listening to.

Also, people keep calling me cynical for some reason that I don't fully understand.

Jack Collier: Private Eye

A Jack Collier Story

By Brett N. Lashuay

 

 

Chapter Twenty-Eight can be found here.

 

 

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VoicePost 116K 0:37

“This it's just gonna be the best weekend ever can. Let me tell you. I am having such a good time. I have never enjoyed myself more ___ I've got what that shit is. Literally that is because I'm in the car on my way got another funeral. Austin just believe me life just can't get any Better than it is right now. I really mean it's. I was not being a little least bit sarcastic. We love ya'll. Bye bye.” Auto-Transcribed Voice Post - spoken through SpinVox

Dear world,

Look, just fuck off for three days will you? Seriously, just fuck off. Sick of your shit.

Hugs and kisses,
Me

I am sick of peanuts.

(HA! A joke only ONE person will get!)