December 20th, 2006

Pale

Non-Holiday Christmas Movies

I posted this over in retroflix and then decided to post it here too for good measure.

I have always liked Non-Holiday Christmas movies. By that I mean movies that admit Christmas exists, but aren’t actually pushing any Holiday-Propaganda at you. They’re not trying to bang on about the miracle of Christmas, or drown you in holiday cheer. Mostly, these movies just take place in mid or late December, although sometimes Christmas is used in juxtaposition to the action on screen.

The Bourne Identity and Ronin are two good examples of movies that take place in late December, but aren’t Christmas movies. You’ve got to look around for a few key scenes in both these movies, just a few decorations in a few places give away the time of year. Oddly, both these movies also take place in France and have kick ass car chases.

The opening section of The Godfather (after the wedding) takes place during Christmas, again a few decorations and mentions give it away. The Thin Man takes place during Christmas, but that had very little if anything to do with the movie.

Now Die Hard and Die Hard 2 both take place during Christmas (just a point of warning, you should probably only watch Die Hard 2 after drinking a few spoonfuls of cough syrup to dull your nerves) which brings all the action into sharp relief. In many ways this is the same impression I get from Batman Returns.

Brazil is another movie that takes place during the run up to Christmas, which is a great opportunity for Terry Gilliam both to show the absurdity of the world he’s created, and to point out that the people who live in it are indeed just people. Entire books could be written about the fact that Brazil takes place during Christmas, so I’ll just leave that badly worded sentence for now instead of getting too deeply into it.

Then there are the TV shows that have Christmas related episodes but don’t dwell too heavily on the day. We watched the Moonlighting episode T'was the Episode Before Christmas*, and it got me thinking about some other TV shows with Christmas episodes. Of course it got me thinking about non-holiday Christmas episodes, which is the thrust of this post.

*This doesn't really count, but it's what got me started thinking about it.


I got to thinking about The Avengers episode Too Many Christmas Trees and the Nero Wolfe episode The Christmas Party, both of which admit the existence of Christmas, but it really doesn’t have much to do with the episode. They’re just murder mysteries that take place during Christmas, which means in a pinch they can be rerun in June without too much hassle.

Then we’ve got the Chef! episode A Bird in the Hand, which was originally aired on December 24th, 1993 as a stand alone special instead of being part of the regular series. It’s not really about Christmas but rather it’s about running a restaurant on Christmas.

I think the reason I like these is two fold. One, I like knowing that people are able to do things besides “Experience the Christmas Miracle ™” for the month of December. I like the holiday, but it’s nice to know the world still goes on sometimes, particularly if you’re cranky and busy.

I think the second reason is that I live in Michigan, which means from my understanding of weather, all movies and TV shows take place between May 10th and August 23rd. It’s nice to see any kind of weather or change of season represented in a film because we almost never see them acknowledge that it even happens. Living in Michigan means you get different weather everyday (until December when it stubbornly remains to warm and cloudless to get even one god damn flake of snow) so to see the constant unchanging weather of TV and Movies has always bugged me. Also the fact that you can never actually tell even what time of year something takes place bugs me for some reason. Something with a Christmas theme almost always means you’ll get at least a flavor of seasonalness, which is nice.
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    Boney James - Boneyizm
Smack!

The creepiest scene of all

So… In the Wizard of Oz Dorothy (played by Judy Garland) picks an apple off an apple tree. The tree gets mad and resentful that she picked something off him.

However, let’s think about this for a moment. The apple is the tree’s fruit, and contains his seed. Judy Garland was very busy (when not being in The Wizard of Oz) being the wet dream of millions of young boys and quite a few older men since she’s 16 but dresses like she’s about 8 in that movie. I mean that is the ultimate happy scenario for that creepy guy in the subway isn’t it? If you shortened the skirt on Dorothy’s dress, you would have the perfect slutty school girl costume, right?

So this tree is offended that Dorothy is trying to take a big bite out of one of his big red balls and that she’s pretty likely to swallow his seed? I don’t buy it. I particularly don’t buy it because right after being given a ration of shit by the Scarecrow (played by Ray Bolger) they trees start hurling apples at them, engaging in what must be the earliest, not to mention creepiest (and potentially most painful) bukkake scenes ever committed to film.

This is makes me wonder what other sexual practices are hinted at in that movie, and can I ruin any other childhood favorites for anyone?
  • Current Music
    Hans Zimmer - Pilgrim's Chant/In the Land of the Ancestors
Pale

You can tell I'm off my game...

I've gone this whole season and not once have I mentioned Yuletide Nooky yet.

I will now correct this over sight...

Yuletide Nooky

Yuletide Nookie

Yuletide Nookie

Yuletide Nooky

Yuletide Nookie

Yuletide Nooky

Yuletide Nookie

Yuletide Nooky

Yuletide Nooky

Yuletide Nookie


Yuletide Nooky

Shwanekee

We apologize for any inconvenience we might have caused by this delay.