| Chapter 8,367: In which I stray a bit from my original point. |
 Chapter 8,367: In which I stray a bit from my original point.
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Aug. 12th, 2009 @ 03:27 am 
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You know what I miss? Calling cards. The sort of thing you'd leave at someone's house saying you'd been there and where they could reach you. It was also a way to announce yourself at the door so the servants could go and tell the lord or lady of the manor who was visiting them. Yes, the modern business card is an extension of these, but I prefer something with a bit more flair, a bit more drama. Of course I also miss top hats, spats and colorful vests.
Be fair, what I actually miss are the days when everyone I knew either had servants or, if I was in a different mood that day, were servants. I did so enjoy those more genteel and civilized situations where a man could perform his task which was appointed to him by god and talent without all the fuss that today’s world puts on them. It as so much easier to blackmail people when they had other people who they didn’t think of as people watching them. All you had to do was admit their basic humanity and most those under the stairs types would fall in your lap, oft times literally, though I was too much of a gentleman to oblige myself upon those nice girls. I was such a good tipper in those days too, always paid twice the going rate and would make sure any maids who were fired or caught would land on their feet and out of trouble.
These days, of course, it’s all changed. Now people are in such a hurry to expose themselves that you’ve barely written the letter when they suddenly go off in and hike the Appalachian Trail. That sort of thing always spoils the fun because it sets the dogs on the prowl and you can’t threaten someone after that. Even worse, they’ll just alert the media themselves and ruin months worth of work. The worst of all though is that accursed Facebook thing. What’s the use of gathering material when they post things that are far worse (or better, depending on which side of the gentleman bandit transaction you happen to be on) than you could ever find in a month of Sundays on the internet without giving you a chance to tell them how dangerous such a thing is? And how does one make money without threatening to expose them if they don’t pay up? I would always explain the dangers before naming the price, it always made the cost seem small to the customer when I would tell them of the dangers first. Like insurance really, only more direct.
No, no! Give me a time machine, a hand full of calling cards, some spats and a nice thin stiletto in case people get stroppy, please.What am I listening to?: Weird Al Yankovic - Good Old Days |
I own one of those. I think it's b on that stiletto link you provided.
Yes, but then you get all those repressed people, too, and they're absolutely no fun to hang out with. The ones who are get called hooligans and disreputable sorts are better, but for soem reason, people don't like you hanging out with them.
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